Recipes

These 2 recipes have been requested from me MANY times. Enjoy!

Sweet Dough:
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
3 packages active dry yeast
8-9 cups flour
2 cups milk
1 cup butter
2 eggs

steps:
1) In large bowl, combine sugar, salt, yeast and 2 cups flour. In 2 quart sauce pan over low heat, slowly heat milk and butter until very warm (Butter does not need to melt). With mixer (I use wooden spoon, and mix manually) at low speed, gradually beat lquid into dry ingrediants. Increase speed to medium; beat 2 minutes more, occasionally scraping bowl with rubber spatula.
2) Beat in egss and 2 cups flour; continue beating 2 minutes, occasionally scraping bowl.
3) With spoon, stir in enough additional flour (about 4 1/4 cups) to make a soft dough.
4) Turn dough onto lightly floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Shape into a ball.
5) Turn over in greased large bowl to grease top. Cover; let rise in warm place until dough is double, about 1 hour.
6) Punch down dough. On lightly floured surface, devide into pieces as recipes direct. Cover; let rest 15 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls:
Dark brown sugar
White sugar
Siagon Cinnamon
Butter

I devide 1 batch of dough into 2 pieces for easier rolling.Roll out dough to be about 1/4 inch or so thick. Depends on how you like your rolls. Coat thick layer of soft butter, evenly sprinkle dark brown sugar, then white, and then cinnamon. Roll tightly, pinching the seam. Cut into 1 inch slices, and place into WELL greased pan. Space evenly, and don't have rolls touch in pan. Allow to rise another 30 minutes or so in warm area. Bake in oven at 400 for approx. 25 minutes, or until golden brown.

Sugar Glaze:
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla (I like to use whole tablespoon)
3 tablespoons water
whip or stir in medium bowl until smooth. Drizzle on rolls while they are cooling. The hotter the rolls, the thinner the glaze will be.
If I'm making 4-6 batches, it takes me a good 4-6 hours or so as I can only make 2 batches at once with my bowls. WELL worth the time and energy.MERRY CHRISTMAS!!


Peanutbutter Cookies:
1 cup peanutbutter
1 cup sugar
1 egg

Mix well. Dough will be like soft grainy playdough.
I roll into balls, place on ungreased cookie sheet, and press a piece of chocolate in the middle.
Bake at 350 for around 8 or 9 minutes. YUMMY!

Yup

Honestly, I'm pissed. Bonnie told me that I would go thru the stages of grief, becuase of the loss I'm feeling. The loss of the hope and dreams I had for Corban, and not knowing what of them he'll be able to do.
I cry everyday. I want to seriously have a smoke. I want this to all be done with. I just want to know what he's got, and what do I have to do to help him cope with it better.
I hate hearing how "fine' it's all going to be. I already know that it's going to be fine. I already know that Corban is going to be alright. I've already accepted that he either has some form of Autism, or a similar disorder. Just because I've accepted it, doesn't mean that I can't still be mad as hell that he has to work soo hard to talk to me. My acceptance doesn't stop my heart from breaking when I watch him struggle. It's OKAY for me to be pissed off, and have a slightly broken heart.
I'm NOT depressed. I'm mad, and sad. I feel like I can't walk away from my little fish bowl for even a minute to fully process my fears, worry's, and doubts. I'm just angry! I'm scared! All I want to do is cry!
Things out of my control:
The future
The Past
and parts of the present.
Will he play sports? Will he want to and be able to be in regular classes? Will he get any worse then he is now? Will be stay at this level? Is he going to mellow out, and be able to have a career, wife and children? What's going to happen to my little boy? How much is he going to have to struggle? Why didn't I see him struggling sooner, and do all this last summer? What's going to happen if I have another baby? Is Caleb going to start talking soon, or am I going to have to have him checked out too?

Things I worry about, and theres much more. I have NO control over these things, and I'm scared of what thier answers will be, and when I'll find them out.
I have until November and possibly December before finding out.
I was stupid and talked about making a trip in Oct. I don't even know if I can handle going on a trip. I can barely stop focusing soo much on Corban to do the dishes.

Needed to get stuff of my chest. If there are any comments, the last thing I want to hear is how "everything will be ok." because I already know this. Don't think that I'm being dramatic, or thinking Corban's going to be worse then he will be. In all honesty, we don't know what the future will hold, or of what Corban's truly fighting with. All we see right now, and the early detection signs.
I swear, I'm trying to be soo optamistic. Corban see's nothing but happy, fun, play time Momma. He doesn't see me break down and bawl.
Man! I'm just soo Angry! Why is it soo difficult for ME when HE'S the one having all the struggles!
I just love my boy.